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<meta name="description" content="Absolutely! Hands are pretty darn dirty places. I mean, think about all the things we touch in a given day! Your hands can definitely carry bacteria and germs on them. Those nasties can then easily make their way into your body if a partner performs manual sex on you. Vaginal tissue is pretty delicate stuff. It is very easily abraded by rough nails, cuticles, or calluses. Even if they don't feel super rough or sharp when you touch them, they can still be enough to cause tears or cuts in your vaginal tissue. These little abrasions are perfect doorways into your body for those germs, etc. Your">
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<meta property="og:description" content="Absolutely! Hands are pretty darn dirty places. I mean, think about all the things we touch in a given day! Your hands can definitely carry bacteria and germs on them. Those nasties can then easily make their way into your body if a partner performs manual sex on you. Vaginal tissue is pretty delicate stuff. It is very easily abraded by rough nails, cuticles, or calluses. Even if they don't feel super rough or sharp when you touch them, they can still be enough to cause tears or cuts in your vaginal tissue. These little abrasions are perfect doorways into your body for those germs, etc. Your">
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  <h1 class="o-page-title"><span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">Is hand washing really necessary?</span>
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          <div class="views-row"><div class="views-field views-field-created"><span class="field-content">6 min read
  •  first published <time datetime="2008-05-07T14:05:21-05:00" class="datetime">May 7th 2008</time>
  •  updated <time datetime="2023-12-16T10:50:21-06:00" class="datetime">Dec 16th 2023</time>
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            <div class="field field--name-field-asker-name field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Jo</div>
      
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              <div class="field__item"><p>Is it a valid concern to be worried about my boyfriend washing his hands before he fingers me? I know he should if he has semen or pre-cum on his hands, but as a guy he hardly washes his hands.  You know how some guys are and if I tell him he still won't do it. Could I get infections or could he spread germs that have been on his hands this way? I know the vagina keeps itself pretty clean, so should I do anything about it? Thanks a lot.</p>
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      <div class="field field--name-field-writers field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items">
              <div class="field__item"><a href="/about/writers/sarah-riley" hreflang="en">Sarah Riley</a></div>
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            <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>Absolutely!
</p><p>Hands are pretty darn dirty places. I mean, think about all the things we touch in a given day! Your hands can definitely carry bacteria and germs on them. Those nasties can then easily make their way into your body if a <span class="glossary-wrapper keyboard-access"><abbr tabindex="0" title="Show definition for 'partner'" aria-describedby="partner-definition" class="despace-parent glossary-word tooltip-initialized" data-glossary-id="partner" aria-expanded="false">partner⁠</abbr><span id="partner-definition" class="glossary-definition" style="display: none;"><span class="bracket"> (</span><dfn><a href="/read/glossary#partner">partner</a>: </dfn><span>In a sexual context, a person with whom someone is having some kind of sex. The term "partner" can be used for all kinds of relationships, not just serious ones. "Partner" can also mean the person someone is with in a romantic or familial partnership.</span><span class="bracket">)</span></span></span> performs <span class="glossary-wrapper keyboard-access"><abbr tabindex="0" title="Show definition for 'manual sex'" aria-describedby="manual-sex-definition" class="despace-parent glossary-word tooltip-initialized" data-glossary-id="manual-sex" aria-expanded="false">manual sex⁠</abbr><span id="manual-sex-definition" class="glossary-definition" style="display: none;"><span class="bracket"> (</span><dfn><a href="/read/glossary#manual-sex">manual sex</a>: </dfn><span>Sometimes also called digital sex. Kinds of sex involving the hands and fingers to sexually stimulate the genitals or other parts of the body. Fingering, handjobs or "fisting" (deep manual sex) are some kinds of manual sex.</span><span class="bracket">)</span></span></span> on you. Vaginal tissue is pretty delicate stuff. It is very easily abraded by rough nails, cuticles, or calluses. Even if they don't feel <i>super</i> rough or sharp when you touch them, they can still be enough to cause tears or cuts in your vaginal tissue. These little abrasions are perfect doorways into your body for those germs, etc. Your <span class="glossary-wrapper keyboard-access"><abbr tabindex="0" title="Show definition for 'vagina'" aria-describedby="vagina-definition" class="despace-parent glossary-word tooltip-initialized" data-glossary-id="vagina" aria-expanded="false">vagina⁠</abbr><span id="vagina-definition" class="glossary-definition" style="display: none;"><span class="bracket"> (</span><dfn><a href="/read/glossary#vagina">vagina</a>: </dfn><span>The internal passage leading from the opening of the vulva to the cervix of the uterus.</span><span class="bracket">)</span></span></span> is also a delicately balanced environment. Yes, it does <span class="glossary-wrapper keyboard-access"><abbr tabindex="0" title="Show definition for 'clean'" aria-describedby="clean-definition" class="despace-parent glossary-word tooltip-initialized" data-glossary-id="clean" aria-expanded="false">clean⁠</abbr><span id="clean-definition" class="glossary-definition" style="display: none;"><span class="bracket"> (</span><dfn><a href="/read/glossary#clean">clean</a>: </dfn><span>In a sexual context, usually a word used to suggest a person doesn’t currently have anysexually transmitted infections. That term, however, stigmatizes people with illness. Less stigmatizing choices are "negative," "clear" or "STI-free."</span><span class="bracket">)</span></span></span> itself. However, substances on hands can throw off the balance in there, which can lead you to develop yeast or bacterial infections. I don't know about you, but I don't want the things that come off door handles, toilets, tables, and everything else in the world in my vagina! Hands should really be washed in order to help prevent this.</p>
<p>It is also important to keep hands and nails well groomed and tidy (so short nails, no rough cuticles or calluses, etc.).</p>
<p>(And of course, as you mentioned, if your partner had ejaculate or <span class="glossary-wrapper keyboard-access"><abbr tabindex="0" title="Show definition for 'pre-ejaculate'" aria-describedby="pre-ejaculate-definition" class="despace-parent glossary-word tooltip-initialized" data-glossary-id="pre-ejaculate" aria-expanded="false">pre-ejaculate⁠</abbr><span id="pre-ejaculate-definition" class="glossary-definition" style="display: none;"><span class="bracket"> (</span><dfn><a href="/read/glossary#pre-ejaculate">pre-ejaculate</a>: </dfn><span>A fluid which the penis usually emits with or around erection and before ejaculation, sometimes more than once. Pre-ejaculate itself does not contain sperm, but in some cases, can pick up traces of sperm left in the urethra.</span><span class="bracket">)</span></span></span> on his hands, that could increase <span class="glossary-wrapper keyboard-access"><abbr tabindex="0" title="Show definition for 'STI'" aria-describedby="sti-definition" class="despace-parent glossary-word tooltip-initialized" data-glossary-id="sti" aria-expanded="false">STI⁠</abbr><span id="sti-definition" class="glossary-definition" style="display: none;"><span class="bracket"> (</span><dfn><a href="/read/glossary#sti">STI</a>: </dfn><span>Sexually transmitted infections: illness, infection and/or disease which is often or can be transmitted through sexual or other intimate contact, like HIV, Chlamydia or Herpes. Some people call STIs STDs.</span><span class="bracket">)</span></span></span> risks in addition.)</p>
<p>Because of this, <a href="/article/bodies/the_simple_and_underrated_art_of_washing_your_hands">hand washing</a> should really be a non-negotiable thing when it comes to <span class="glossary-wrapper keyboard-access"><abbr tabindex="0" title="Show definition for 'sexual'" aria-describedby="sexual-definition" class="despace-parent glossary-word tooltip-initialized" data-glossary-id="sexual" aria-expanded="false">sexual⁠</abbr><span id="sexual-definition" class="glossary-definition" style="display: none;"><span class="bracket"> (</span><dfn><a href="/read/glossary#sexual">sexual</a>: </dfn><span>About or relating in some way to sex or sexuality.</span><span class="bracket">)</span></span></span> activity. This is your health we're talking about here. If your partner cares about you, hopefully he'll be willing to take a few moments to do something really simple that will help keep you healthy!</p>
<p>It may be that your partner doesn't realize that this puts you at risk for <span class="glossary-wrapper keyboard-access"><abbr tabindex="0" title="Show definition for 'infection'" aria-describedby="infection-definition" class="despace-parent glossary-word tooltip-initialized" data-glossary-id="infection" aria-expanded="false">infection⁠</abbr><span id="infection-definition" class="glossary-definition" style="display: none;"><span class="bracket"> (</span><dfn><a href="/read/glossary#infection">infection</a>: </dfn><span>When harmful microbes, or germs, or harmful levels of microbes/germs, enter the body and multiply, causing illness. The common cold, flu viruses, sexually transmitted infections, chickenpox, impetigo, rabies and diphtheria are some kinds of infections.</span><span class="bracket">)</span></span></span> or maybe just doesn't think about it since hands can often <i>look</i> clean when they may not be.</p>
<p>I don't think it has anything inherently to do with him being male. If you look at hand washing behavior of ALL people, it's pretty scary how rarely we wash our hands. If you haven't spoken to him about this, it would be wise to do so.</p>
<p>You can say something like, "Have you ever thought about all the things your hands come into contact with everyday? Well, when you don't wash your hands before manual sex, that introduces all of that stuff into my body, which is really not cool. It could cause me to develop infections! I don't think either one of us want that, so could you please start washing your hands before we have manual sex? This is really important to me." You might even suggest that you start making it a group activity as well. So before you start to be <span class="glossary-wrapper keyboard-access"><abbr tabindex="0" title="Show definition for 'sexually active'" aria-describedby="sexually-active-definition" class="despace-parent glossary-word tooltip-initialized" data-glossary-id="sexually-active" aria-expanded="false">sexually active⁠</abbr><span id="sexually-active-definition" class="glossary-definition" style="display: none;"><span class="bracket"> (</span><dfn><a href="/read/glossary#sexually-active">sexually active</a>: </dfn><span>Someone who has had or is currently having some kind of genital sex with a partner or partners.</span><span class="bracket">)</span></span></span> at all, you <b>both</b> head to the bathroom together and give your hands a good scrub with soap and warm water. (Remember that for hand washing to really help, it has to be done correctly. So washing with soap and warm water for a good amount of time and scrubbing under/around nails, etc.) If hand washing isn't an option, the next best thing (which really is good even if you are doing hand washing) is to use latex or polyurethane gloves with some <span class="glossary-wrapper keyboard-access"><abbr tabindex="0" title="Show definition for 'lubricant'" aria-describedby="lubricant-definition" class="despace-parent glossary-word tooltip-initialized" data-glossary-id="lubricant" aria-expanded="false">lubricant⁠</abbr><span id="lubricant-definition" class="glossary-definition" style="display: none;"><span class="bracket"> (</span><dfn><a href="/read/glossary#lubricant">lubricant</a>: </dfn><span>A fluid used in order to make kinds of sex (such as masturbation, vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse or manual sex) more pleasant and comfortable, and/or to help prevent condoms from breaking by decreasing friction.</span><span class="bracket">)</span></span></span> for manual sex. This keeps germs and bacteria that are on hands away from your <span class="glossary-wrapper keyboard-access"><abbr tabindex="0" title="Show definition for 'genitals'" aria-describedby="genitals-definition" class="despace-parent glossary-word tooltip-initialized" data-glossary-id="genitals" aria-expanded="false">genitals⁠</abbr><span id="genitals-definition" class="glossary-definition" style="display: none;"><span class="bracket"> (</span><dfn><a href="/read/glossary#genitals">genitals</a>: </dfn><span>Body parts that are generally, culturally, scientifically or personally considered to be external sexual or reproductive organs.</span><span class="bracket">)</span></span></span> and also provides a smoothness so that you don't have to worry as much about potential abrasions.</p>
<p>And finally, if your partner refuses to wash his hands or to use gloves, I'd suggest that maybe it would be a good time to consider holding off on sexual activity of any sort. Good partners want to take care of us and our health. Asking someone to take a few minutes to wash their hands is not a huge deal. If your partner is unwilling to take a moment to do this, that's really not too cool. Your first concern has to be your health and taking care of you. If your partner is not on board with that, it's definitely time to consider stopping sexual activity until you are both on the same page when it comes to <span class="glossary-wrapper keyboard-access"><abbr tabindex="0" title="Show definition for 'safer sex'" aria-describedby="safer-sex-definition" class="despace-parent glossary-word tooltip-initialized" data-glossary-id="safer-sex" aria-expanded="false">safer sex⁠</abbr><span id="safer-sex-definition" class="glossary-definition" style="display: none;"><span class="bracket"> (</span><dfn><a href="/read/glossary#safer-sex">safer sex</a>: </dfn><span>Practices which aim to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections, such as use of latex/nonlatex barriers, regular testing for infections and limiting the number of sexual partners.</span><span class="bracket">)</span></span></span> practices.</p>
<p>You may want to check <span class="glossary-wrapper keyboard-access"><abbr tabindex="0" title="Show definition for 'out'" aria-describedby="out-definition" class="despace-parent glossary-word tooltip-initialized" data-glossary-id="out" aria-expanded="false">out⁠</abbr><span id="out-definition" class="glossary-definition" style="display: none;"><span class="bracket"> (</span><dfn><a href="/read/glossary#out">out</a>: </dfn><span>Short for ‘out of the closet’. When someone’s LGBTQ+ identity is known to other people.</span><span class="bracket">)</span></span></span> the following:</p>
<ul>
<li><b><a href="/node/21860">Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist</a></b></li>
<li><b><a href="/node/21888">Safe, Sound &amp; Sexy: A Safer Sex How-To</a></b></li>
<li><b><a href="/article/relationships/be_a_blabbermouth_the_whys_whats_and_hows_of_talking_about_sex_with_a_partner">Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner</a></b></li>
<li><b><a href="/article/bodies/10_of_the_best_things_you_can_do_for_your_sexual_self_at_any_age">10 of the Best Things You Can Do for Your Sexual Self (at Any Age)</a></b></li>
</ul>
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